Entering My Tita Era: Reflecting On a Wedding Reception


 

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Filipinos have very large extended families. Last weekend, I went to the wedding for one of my younger cousins. (Actually the son of an actual cousin, so first cousin once removed, but to make it easier on everyone, I'm just gonna refer to the groom as my younger cousin.)

Weddings always mark a chapter in someone's lifetime, even for people who are just attending. My brother snarked that we were too old to sit with the groom's friends/bridal party because we were too old, but at the same time we were also too young to sit with the older generation. Thankfully, we were seated with our parents and some of their friends, close to the bride and groom's table.

Given that I'm an introvert with food allergies and neurodivergent, attending the wedding reception was like diving into the deep end of a swimming pool. It was overstimulating due to the constant camera flashes and strobe lights. I felt like I was struggling to stay afloat. 

However, once I was able to order food from room service and the DJ started playing music that everyone could dance to, it felt like I was acclimating to the chaos around me. Plus, the reception had an area outside the ballroom where people could get drinks. I went out to that lobby every now and then to cool down or to decompress from the overstimulation. 

I just had fries and a glass of moscato.


About an hour or so into the reception, I finally went out to the dance floor. I even requested the DJ play a song and danced with some of the bride's friends. In the words of Bad Bunny, I danced without fear. (Incidentally, if Bad Bunny's Super Bowl halftime show is any indication, Puerto Rican weddings and Filipino weddings have a lot in common!)

By the end of the night, I was exhausted, but relieved. In the guestbook, I wrote to the bride and groom "Here's to the start of the next chapter of your life!"

If anyone out there reading this is neurodivergent or just introverted or has food allergies (or all of the above), here are my tips for surviving a wedding reception:
1) Get to the hotel early. Make sure to have something to eat before the reception so you don't have to eat too much once the reception starts.
2) If the reception is serving a buffet-style meal, check to see what foods you can have (either safefoods or foods you know you can eat). If possible, check with the caterers or the hotel and ask how they cook everything.
3) Attend the wedding with a friend, if you don't have your family with you.
4) If there's a lobby or an area outside of the reception venue, don't be afraid to go outside to get some fresh air and ground yourself. Make sure that you're with a friend or someone you know for safety reasons.
5) Get out there and dance! It's okay if you look stupid. What matters is that you have fun.

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